Nippy
by schycosamri
Summary: Harry and Draco are shopping for last minute Christmas Gifts. Oh gods, Why! Unspecified AU in which Draco rants about pointless things. HPDM. SLASH. A Mostly Pointless Fluffy Humorous Drabble. Rated M for adult conversations.


Disclaimer: My name is not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own Raincoast Books or Warner Brothers Studios there for I own NOTHING! No copy write infringement intended.  
>Title: Nippy<br>Pairing: Harry/Draco  
>Rating: M for language and mentions of adult…things.<br>Word Count: 3428  
>Summery: Harry and Draco are shopping for last minute Christmas Gifts. Oh gods, Why? Unspecified AU in which Draco rants about pointless things. HPDM. SLASH. A Mostly Pointless Fluffy Humorous Drabble.<br>Warnings/Notes: It's Christmas in July! Or not. I finally finished a Christmas gift I started for ever ago…Sorry Missy! ALSO: This fic does at times discuss ADULT SITUATIONS and stuff. No Sex scenes though (GASP! WHY?) and a lot of useless ramblings created by a person with a very weird sense of humour. ALSO ALSO: As a lesbian I really don't want to waste my time reading a whole bunch of gay flames. So yes: in this FanFic people are GAY, so if you don't like it DON'T READ IT!

Reviews are still loved though!

Thank you for reading :)  
>-Schyco Samri<p>

~Nippy~

"I detest the word: nippy." Draco Malfoy stated out of nowhere, while walking through Diagon Ally on an obscenely cold day, with Harry Potter.

Obscenely cold according to Draco's loudly voiced opinion anyway. Even though it was the middle of December and thus in the middle of the coldest season of blistering winds, ice and snow, it was (apparently) ridiculously cold. Personally, Harry thought it was brilliant, but he was beginning to question his sanity, mostly because of recent Malfoy overdose.

"What?" Harry asked, rather stupidly. As he should know (by now at any rate) that such unspecific and unintelligent one worded questions cause Draco to be a bit of a prat.

"'_What?'"_ Draco said in his worst imitation of Harry Potter, so far (Harry knew that as long as Draco was alive and able to make sounds and/or movements of an exaggerated nature, there would be worse impersonations of him to come). "He says as if the _specifics_ of the question, that is, in fact, also a _word,_ shall be entered _straight_ into my brain! When in fact the_ question_, or rather _word_, really if we are to be _specific_, could mean _anything_! For instance: 'Draco, _what _are you doing here?' 'Draco, _what_ do you mean you hate the word: nippy?' 'Draco, _what_ do you mean all people who use the word 'nippy' are tossers?' 'Draco, in _what_ degree do you hate these people who use the word: nippy?' 'Draco, _what_ are you doing clothed and wondering around in the unforgiving cold of outside instead of being inside my warm house, writhing around on my soft bed, painfully aroused and begging for attention?' '_What _is that person wearing on her head?' '_What_ did I just step-"

Alright a major prat.

"ALRIGHT! Alright! I get it!" Harry shouted into Draco's ear, which (surprisingly) managed to stop Draco's anal and strangely arousing rant. Then Harry added with a smirk, "Besides nothing _straight_ could be entered into your pouncy brain, Malfoy. It would need to be converted first to match the rest of the insanity in there." Harry concluded with a smirk.

"_Oooh_! Good one, Potter!" Draco replied sarcastically, glaring at him from the folds of an overly fluffy and expensive winter coat. "Think of that yourself or has Granger figured out a way to insert witty comebacks directly into that thick skull of yours?"

"Oh, don't be a prat, Malfoy." Harry replied mildly, his smirk softening to a smile. _Draco really doesn't like the cold_, Harry thought as he noticed Draco's overly sensitive reactions. Harry had actually had some difficulty getting a rise out of him, lately. And Harry found Draco's rants quite amusing in the proper circumstances, so long as he didn't let Draco dig his claws into a silly argument and turn it into a serious fight. "You know I can think by myself _quite_ effectively, otherwise Ms. Hermione _Weasley _would never have allowed the thought that arranged this current situation."

"Which situation are you referring to, Potter?" Draco asked his tone changing from scathing scorn to that of mild curiosity, "The current situation where we are wondering the streets of Diagon Ally in the unkind and frightfully cold grip of Jack Frost, or the situation that made it possible for us do such things together?"

"Both." Harry stated with a smile, remembering the very train of thought that lead to both situations. Both times, suggestions to go shopping, Draco's most interesting and obvious addiction, had led to fantastic results. The first time not only had he gotten a completely new wardrobe, but he had also managed to convince Draco that clothes don't actually make the man. And later Draco, for the third time, learnt exactly the type of influence of Harry's nudity commanded. As such, Draco finally accepted Harry's invention to dinner, or rather breakfast. The second time (i.e. now) was already proving to be most entertaining. He was sure Hermione would think him mental, if she knew about either of these incidents. Which she didn't. Probably. "Now come on, you know why we're here, to-"

"_Do some last minute Christmas shopping_. Because you forgot, _again_." Draco smirked as he finished Harry's sentence. "I'm constantly surprised with the amount of things you can do with a memory as bad as yours."

"I bet you are." Harry said in a low sexy growl causing Draco to flush and look away towards one of the many shops they were passing.

Harry knew he should really just pick one, bustle inside and buy a suitable gift for Ginny, but then he wouldn't be able to hear Draco's rants, at all. The mere mention of Ginny had a tendency to send Draco into a tiff, so the obviousness of whom the present is for (since Harry knows very few girls) would probably send him into a doozy, resulting in days of eerie silence and cold shoulders. Although to mention the sheer volume of bustling customers, Harry would be lucky to hear himself think let alone Draco's complaints.

_That alone should be proof of my madness_, thought Harry smiling slightly, _If Ron knew that I like the sound of Malfoy's voice he'd probably have my head examined. Right after he woke up from the coma caused by the explaination of how I discovered this...preference._

Harry glanced at Draco and laughed at his still sour and flushed expression, "It's your fault for breaking your own rules about sexual comments outside the bed camber."

"Oh? When did I do anything so vulgar?" replied Draco his chin raised high in defiance even as he looked away from Harry. Draco seemed to be attempting to see past the frosty yet fogged window of a crowded store; not at all trying to stop Harry from seeing the guiltily recognition in his eyes.

_No, of course not_, Harry thought with a silent snicker. "It was within your rant about properly phrased questions," Harry replied smoothly, "Something about like: why aren't you horny and naked on my bed instead of fully clothed and outside?"

"Impossible," Draco lied just as smoothly, "I couldn't have said that. After all, I was complaining about your use of the word _what_ not _why_."

Harry sighed, "Did I _say_ that was your exact wording? No in fact I did not." Harry supplied answering his own question and cutting off Draco, again. "You must be clutching at straws to use that argument so close to one about specifics. Which was a rather pointless argument anyway."

"Pointless?" Draco turned his head sharply towards Harry, eyes flashing. And Harry realized, a moment too late, that he had walked straight into another Draco Rant. "Well, if you were to use more _pointlessly_ specific in wording in your questions I, A: wouldn't have to _constantly_ remind you of this unspecific questioning habit you have, which is in fact a gateway habit into the _debauchery_ of the English language. B: have _nearly_ as many loopholes for getting in and out of arguments with you. And C: would not actually be having this currant conversation with you and might actually be discussing something of value with you." Draco responded in his snobbish droning tone meant to convey that anyone who is even the least bit intelligent ought to have known all of what he just said beforehand.

Harry rolled his eyes. Harry personally thought that tone of voice made Draco sound like a squawking, ruffled up peacock. Harry smiled and decided to play along, "A: _Debauchery_ of the English language? Really? Well then, I suppose I owe you some thanks, Malfoy for making me 'Say: No,' to gate way English errors."

"You're welcome." Draco replied with a smile of his own looking at Harry through his fringe and frost covered eyelashes.

"B," Harry continued with an eyebrow raised towards his intrusive friend, "I shunt be taking the blame for any of our arguments based off your need to be obtuse and my habit of being unspecific. However, I will try to remember to use that point against you in future arguments."

Draco scoffed and muttered, "Good luck with that."

Harry shook his head in amusement before continuing, "And C: and what would our current conversation be about, hmmm? You hatred of people who use the word 'Nippy' and what in Merlin's name that even means?" Harry looked at Draco expectantly, even going so far as to stop in the street so that Draco had to stop and turn to face him.

Draco did stop and allowing the other shoppers to pass as he considered Harry's point. Then, (after waiting just long enough to make Harry squirm) Draco nodded, regained eye contact and said with a smile, "If that was the specifics of your earlier asked question, pertaining to my statement of distaste to those who use the word 'nippy', then: yes."

Harry sighed explosively, goodness the man should've been a lawyer, "All right, let's start _that_ conversation shall we?"

"Alright." Draco said and turned to continue walking, pausing to look at Harry expectantly over a shoulder.

Harry sighed again and moved beside Draco to continue their trek through Diagon Ally, "You're insufferable you know that?" Harry said as he treaded his arm through Draco's and sighed, again. "Alright Draco, why do you hate people who use the word 'Nippy' and what does that even mean?"

Draco smiled as he leaned against Harry, "It's an intolerable word used by intolerable people. I mean honestly, why would anyone wish to use such a stupid term?"

Harry shrugged, "I still don't understand what's so bad about it. It's just a word."

"And where do you think this word was derived from, hmmm? Think about it for a second but don't strain anything." Draco stated exasperated.

Glaring while trying very hard not to let his smile slip through (it wouldn't to encourage the melodramatic blonde, which is exactly what would happen if Harry let it slip that he liked the light haired demon's insulting tone, a lot), Harry thought for a moment the shrugged again and decided for a stab in the dark and said, "Nipple?"

"EXACTALLY!" Draco shouted his hands moving in exaggerated motions (this tended to happen a lot within Draco's heated explanations, especially in Harry's presence). "I mean honestly! What a stupid way to comment on the weather! I can just see some ancient wizards standing around in the cold and one say's to the other, 'Oh my dear Albus,'" Draco said in yet another horrible version of what Harry thought might be their old Potions Professor, "'You seemed to have gotten a chill. You seem a bit nippily or nippy.' 'Why Severus,'" Draco continued in what now must be his version of Dumbledor and sounded ridiculously old and cheerful, "'that is a fantastic term, _Nippy!_ Let us use it all the time to describe the cold. The term will describe temperatures from mild to freezing, just to be creatively ironic!' 'Certainly sir, but please put on a jacket.' It's simply disgusting really." Draco finished in his body shivering with disgust.

Harry was shaking with the effort not to laugh. He wasn't succeeding well, "So-o bu-uh-y Heh. heeheeheehahaha-" Harry forced himself to stop giggling by forcing a cough and taking a deep breath.

He could now feel Draco's gaze and had to fight off another round of giggles. Harry could not stop smiling, so he didn't try and began to try speaking again, "So, by your logic, not only did wizards create this term but the _ancient_ Professor Snape helped to create it by noticing that _Dumbeldor's_ nipples were erect and showing through his shirt?"

Harry started to laugh again; it was just so ridiculous. Around him bustling shoppers passed by, glancing at them with displeased glances and hushed whispers. Whispering about: 'How far heroes fall when they hang around with no good Death Eaters'. Surprisingly it didn't make Harry's giggles stall, if anything they made it worse.

_Bloody stupid people and their __prejudices,_ Harry thought as his chuckles started to wind down.

"Why-why not make it the Muggles the creator of your ha-hated word?" Harry managed to coke out between chuckles.

Draco made a face of greater disgust and said in his haughtiest voice, "You expect _me_ to talk about _Muggle nipples_? Really Potter you should know better than even insinuate- _Will you stop laughing_?" Draco said with a glare that didn't make it to his eyes at all. In fact it looked as though Draco was losing his own battle against the giggles, "You're making it very hard to concentrate."

"S-sorr-ie-he-eheeheee!" Harry managed before grabbing his stomach to try and stop the chuckles. It was really starting to hurt. Besides that, people were starting to look worried and that was all he needed, someone calling the Aurors because Harry Potter was dying from The Giggles.

Harry heard Draco chuckle, "Really, Harry," His tone was full of affection, "You're an idiot."

"I'm the idiot?" Harry managed to pull himself together, "I'm-" he whipped some tears from his face while gasping for some much needed air before continuing. "I'm not the one thinking about Snape and Albus' 'Nippily Situations.'" He finished with a snicker and then added, "And making a ridiculous fuss about Muggle nipples! You know they're not physically different from us Draco, so theoretically you could find one attractive."

Draco sneered, "I was not thinking about..._that _situation," Draco finished awkwardly before pressing on with a slight shake of his head (as if that would help clear the mental images), "And I can't believe your trying to set me up with _Muggles_. That's disgusting and insulting, even if what you say is true. Muggles, no matter how attractive, are as off limits for me. As are Wizards now, I believe. Unless, of course, you are removing your claim?" Draco asked with a smirk and moved in front of Harry as he pressed himself into Harry's personal space and body.

Harry heard someone whisper about 'Public Displays' and decided to give the Lookie-Loo's something to talk about.

Harry smirked and looped his arms around Draco, taking notice of the way Draco relaxed a bit and how Draco's smirk softened into a smile under Harry's attention. _Hmm, perhaps I'm not the only one hearing the whispers,_ Harry thought and decided to make a mental note to ask about it later. Then he rubbed his and Draco's noses together causing Draco to let a small giggle escape as his smile grew wider. Harry then ended the eskimo kiss by sliding his mouth to the side and said into the shell of Draco's ear, "No, I think I'll keep you around," then walked around Draco, "You crazy prat."

He could feel Draco's lazy smirk and warm gaze on the back of his head.

"Now come on," Harry said over his shoulder, "You've got to help me find a present for Ginny."

Surprisingly Draco's face did not fall back into distain; he simply shook his head, fluffed his coat and in a muttered tone said, "I think asking your boyfriend to help you find a gift for your ex is a _faux pas_."

"Gasp!" Harry practically shouted and covered his mouth with his hands (causing Draco to roll his eyes). Then he pointed at Draco and said: "You used the 'B" word! That's it then, I'll just have to invite you to the dinner with the Weasley's!"

"What?" Draco said his face the perfect imitation of a deer in headlights.

Harry smirked and then he decided it was too good an opportunity to pass up. Harry began to quote Draco's rant, "'What?'" Harry said in his best imitation of Draco Malfoy's annoying whine, so far (Harry knew that as long as he and Draco were in coexistence, there would always be room for improvement), "he says as if the _specifics_ of the question, that is, in fact also a word, shall be entered _straight_ into my brain! When in fact the_ question_, or rather _word_, really if we are to be specific, could mean _anything_! For instance-"

"Alright already, ENOUGH!" Draco shouted cutting Harry off mid-quote.

_Aw, I was just getting to the best part too,_ Harry thought with a smile. Harry lifted an eyebrow in a silent question towards Draco.

"Firstly: I do NOT sound like that," Draco began with a glare, his beautifully manicured finger pointed at Harry menacingly. "Secondly: excellent show of memory Harry, 20 points to Gryffindor!" Draco shouted as he pointed to the sky.

Harry snorted and replied, "Thanks, Professor Malfoy."

'Professor' Malfoy waved his hand dismissively, although his smile was fond. "Think nothing of it," Draco said his smile becoming shark like, "_Mister_ Potter. Oh, and before I forget: Thirdly: Are you serious, about the dinner invitation and all that implies?" Draco's voice took on shocked and worried tone.

"Of course I am," Harry said, his tone light but serious, "If you're going to be my _boyfriend_ I should introduce you to my adoptive family as such. Don't you agree?"

Draco was looking at him with reverent expression, "You're-you're serious aren't you?"

Harry smiled, "Yep. Dinner, Christmas with Weasley's. Or the Weasley Christmas Dinner, if you prefer."

Draco's expression was priceless. He looked just like a fish, with his eyes wide and mouth opening and closing. Harry's face was starting to ache with the strain of keeping a straight face.

Malfoy shook his head, blinked twice, took a deep breath and then said, "Oh. Well, I suppose I should return the favour."

Harry feels his eyes widen as his brain screeches to a halt, "What?"

Malfoy smirks, turning to face Harry whose body had followed his brains lead. "I said," Malfoy began, excusing the unspecific question (for once), "I would like to return the favour and invite you to join _my_ family for dinner on Christmas Eve, for a proper introduction. _Boyfriend_."

Harry could tell from the mirth in Draco's eye that he looked ridiculous, standing in the middle of Diagon Ally with his mouth hanging open, but he could bring himself to care. Draco had just invited him to a family dinner, with his family as his _boyfriend._ The title was echoing around in Harry's head as he felt his face split into a grin. So, three months of hanging out as "just friends", sneaking around, and casual dating, was _finally_ over. After Christmas they would _officially_ be a couple. Unless the elder Malfoy's decided to off him after dinner.

"Are you sure your parents will be okay with that?" Harry asked nervously.

Malfoy smiled and used their treaded arms to pull Harry along, "Actually, I think my father will probably have a minor stress induced heart attack or stroke. But don't worry my mother will be fine."

"That fills me with me confidence," Harry said sarcastically. Harry shock his head then stopped as realization hit him, "Crap. This means I have to buy them presents doesn't it?"

Draco smiled, "Why yes, it does. Thank goodness you've asked me to assist you on your last minute shopping barrage."

Harry sighed but then smiled widely, "Which means you have to buy presents for the Weasley's!"

Now it was Draco's turn to sigh, "Fuck and all I've got to help me shop is you."

"Hey!" Harry said nudging Draco with his elbow.

"Harry would I be here if you had any sort of gift buying potential?"

"Fine, fine. Be that way." Harry muttered.

"Thank you, I shall." Draco smiled, pulling Harry towards a shop.

Harry couldn't stop smiling. This was going to be the most unsettling, hectic, dramatic, and pain in the arse of a Christmas, so far. It was also the beginning of something new and official, which tended to be all those things any way, but along with _exciting_. As such Harry made this promise to himself: if he and Draco survived till New Year's Eve, survived the two very different versions of insanity inherent in both the Weasely's and the Malfoy's, and all the drama, prying questions assumptions and horrid newspaper articles, he would make sure to kiss Draco on the stroke of midnight so he'll have a better chance of doing it again.

"What do you think Potter, should I get your Ex a vibrator or dildo?"

That is if Harry can survive shopping with Draco. Again.

"Oh look! They come in holiday colours and flavours! Do you think Ganger would like one too?"

And if Harry doesn't kill Draco first. _Or vice versa,_ Harry thinks as he notices the malaise flare behind Draco's eyes, which was a total over reaction. After all, Harry only said that it depended on if Lucius wanted one too.

Fin.


End file.
